Leaving the Well of Al Arzum
Although she let her shock and disappointment show - and under the veil, she was crying - in the first moments of Orlando's second shrinkage, Shadya has since put on a calm and steady front for the little band. She's reminding them that this was but one of the three chances the mages mentioned. Underneath, however, she is very shaken. This was, she thought, their best chance, as none of the tales of the Spirit of the Pit of Fire mention miracles even close to what they seek for Orlando. And even in tales, the Light of Truth is a thing of myth and legend.
Ashar's will be done ... but Shadya is thinking a bit too much. She has, perhaps, more time than the others for reflection during the training period, as she is, presumably, honing skills she already has instead of mastering ones she has never tried before as the others are doing.
As a good captain, she is trying to plan ahead, but that necessitates thinking about the very things that are troubling her. She has just risked those under her protection, dangled them before a dragon of far-reaching memory - to no purpose. Now, on her say so, they will again go out, this time to face a Djinn of fire, with no protection save purity of heart. And, Shadya wonders, how pure can her heart be who slew goblins uncounted in unfair fight?
Purity is not something Shadya has thought consciously about. By other's standards, she might be counted pure: raised devout, a virgin, a soldier in the service of a temple, who scorns falsehood. But her training did not include counting her virtues; rather, it was training in overcoming faults. [In that, she and Lierra are much alike, although Lierra's devotion is due to choice not culture, and Lierra's virginity is due to ignorance and other occupation rather than choice.] To count ones virtues is a form of vanity and Ashar expects a humble heart ... although the Ashar expect one to walk proudly because one is a child of Ashar and a daughter of the desert. [Not quite like Lierra's air of command due to being raised a noble ... although they are akin.] Humble and proud; there is no real conflict there.
Nonetheless, because Shadya has accepted the teachings of the Ashar, she sees many stories and legends as things that happen to others - to The Chosen - and one does not self-elect oneself to that plane. [Lierra strives to be a paladin; she believes in the tales of heroism and believes them to be patterns to emulate. Shadya lacks such an "ambition," striving "merely" to to do her job with honour - whatever the job might be.] Shadya does not see herself as a hero, "pure of heart and noble of mien." She is only herself, Shadya, foundling and soldier of the Temple of Tears, occasional sell-sword, and, currently, Sword and protector of Fiamma of the Land of Trees; Orlando, Prince of Arval (wherever that is!); and Nasir, mysterious child-heir to an in-hock magic sword. All of the latter true by her own choice alone ... though she can't always remember just why she spoke when she did. She would prefer to be a creature of her head, but sometimes her heart is faster. [Lierra may be reaching beyond her means; Shadya may be undervaluing her own potential. I think Shadya tends to do so in the company of equals, and certainly of betters. She is an artifact of the teaching of the Temple ... and the circumstances of life there.]
In these shadowy musings, Shadya considers speaking with the miniature lordling. She enjoyed sharing the burden of battle with him, the short time he was full size. Mayhaps she should not try to protect him from these thoughts merely because he is small again.
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