"Eddie?" Jannisett had left Art's room, searching out the mechanic. "Will you please tell me more about people being things? Jamie said that my people 'were never things; they were just treated that way.' I want to know if we've been treating Art as a 'thing.' Art has certainly used itself as a thing, using up its own body, its own vitality, in order to power the ship so that we can go home. Art didn't have to power up that way. We all know it could have done it at less cost to itself if it had taken more time. But Art said the 'society of the Sorcerer' did not have more time; we were too 'on edge'. So Art used himself and that seems to me as though we used Art. Can you explain why to me? The ship's power seems to be mostly your province."
Eddie answered, "Er, I think it has more to do with who has the choice whether you are treated like a thing or not. *I* didn't ask Art to risk itself -- I mean I'm as tired of mush as anyone, but I just wasn't looking forward to it. Maybe you need to ask Art."
Jannisett: "I have asked Art. It said that it was acting as I do when I perform the duties of a protector. But Art was not trained as a protector. I looked up the word 'sociologist'. It has nothing to do with placing oneself at risk to benefit others. It is not Art's job." She stopped for a moment. "Is the only difference between thing and not-thing, choice? No matter what skills one has? Does the -- expectation or perceived need of Society not factor in?" She took a deep breath. "Eddie, back Home I was born and trained to serve a Malik. And the zot box ensured that. But, as I think about it, the clans did too. My clan was proud of the rank to which I had risen; it meant the clan's value would be enhanced and they could try to produce more like me for the M- the Owners. But -- I would not dare go back now without some means of making the clan see what Grey helped me see -- that the Maliks are not all there is in the universe. I am dead to my clan. If I went back, they would submit me to the Malik for termination and recycling. Otherwise they would all suffer. Thus we are -- we were all -- things, even to each other. I do not want that to happen to Art on the Sorcerer."
Eddie seemed rather uncomfortable. "Uh, you ought to ask Jamie about this."
Jannisett: "Jamie is working with Banker on the maps. I wanted to understand about things from you. You were the one worried about Shepherd being used."
Eddie: "I was? Um... Well I guess it's like I said: you're treated like a thing when you don't get to choose. But sometimes a choice isn't really much of a choice. Say the air systems stopped working. I could 'choose' whether or not to fix them, but it's not much of a choice. Wait, that's a bad example. Ok, when the pirates had me, they told me I had to fix stuff, or they'd kill me. That was kind of a choice, but not really. I had to 'choose' whether to let them kill me, or try to live.
"Now say Sorcerer broke down, and I could fix it, but fixing it would probably kill me. (No don't ask how that could happen, this is just a ... an imaginary example.) So now I can fix the ship, which will kill me, or I can wait with the rest of you while maybe a pirate blows us up or whatever. If some one points a gun at me and says, 'Go fix it or I shoot you,' that's one thing, but if I decide to go fix it so the rest of you can live, that's different. Maybe that's still a bad way to put it because I like to fix things.
"So you said if you went back wherever, your people would turn you in so they wouldn't get killed. That's not much of a choice they'd have, right? They'd do it, but they'd do it because they're treated like things. Take that box Art was working on. They put it in you so they could hurt you if you did the wrong thing, since you're too damn hard to hit. But if they wanted people to do what they wanted, they could maybe have just paid them and treated them with respect, and they wouldn't have needed that damned box.
"It's pretty clear you're heavily modified either genetically or some other way or both. I mean, people don't just put their hands in front of a beam weapon and have any hand left. So the -uh- owners made you to be bodyguards, but they put those boxes in so they could control you rather than trusting you. That was treating you like a thing and that's evil."
Jannisett said, "But Shepherd...?"
Eddie: "Ok so if we let Art do something to Shepherd that would mean he'd never wake up, we'd have been using him like a thing, but Art says Shepherd can recover just as well after being wired up as without, and we do need better communications.
"I'm not proud of it, and we probably shouldn't let a paying passenger see it, but Shepherd kind of died already 'cause he'll never be the same no matter what we do. Same with taking the sample. Without the sample Shepherd would just be passed out like that until someone forgets to feed him. Even though he didn't want to give a sample before, he's got no life at all if Art doesn't take one now. So Ok, you figure he'd want to live if he could tell you, and you choose that way.
"Maybe we're wrong, but you've got to guess he'd rather be alive, even if he's not Shepherd when he wakes up. If he'd said to me, 'Eddy, I'd rather be dead than be alive with a different personality,' then I'd have stopped him -er Art-, but since he never said that..."
Jannisett's face showed comprehension. "Ah! That is what Jamie meant when she told Art that 'we do the best we can' in making decisions for other people. And that extends to using oneself not only for what one was trained to do or likes to do, but for what one can do, especially when it helps people one wants to help. And one can decide to do what one can do without being told and without asking." She paused for a moment. "Then - is it wrong for me to feel -- pity, shame, sorrow," the blue girl's puzzlement was tinged with distress, "I do not know how to describe how I've felt, forgive my lack of correct words -- because Art hurt itself doing what it chose to do for us, for me?"
Eddie fiddled with a tool, nervously. "Um, Art wanted to get us moving, and decided it was important enough to do despite the cost. I guess you can feel bad, but I'm not sure it means you need to do anything. Sometimes people get hurt for a good outcome. It was his -Art's- choice. You tried to talk him -er Art- out of it, but it didn't work. It's Ok to put it behind you, or ask him - - not to do it again."
The blue girl nodded. "Thank you for explaining that; I think I know what to say to Art now." She paused for a moment, glanced down at her hand and then back up at the engineer.
"You mentioned my hand, Eddie. I did not know that I was modified, except, of course, for the zot box. Most of my clan are trained as guards, protectors, soldiers, concubines. Other clans have other specialties -- like the Krinn (I thought Grey was a Krinn) who are what you might call 'fixers', like you. I wonder how we were 'modified.' Does that make me a freak, Eddie? Roks said I was a 'combat freak.' I looked up the words. 'Combat' I know; it's my primary function -- a lot of my training went into combat readiness. And humans still use combat: I have seen that you and Jamie are skilled with your weapons. But 'freak'? Am I capricious? Or am I a monster - or a 'strange deviation from nature.' I do not understand, and I thought Jamie said many humans were modified, that your crewchips were modifications."
Eddie was clearly uncomfortable. "Uh... Well you're... None of us is 'normal' really. It seems like you -uh your people anyway- were engineered to be fighters. I'm sure soldiers have been engineered before, and you aren't really a soldier, but someone with a lot of resources put a lot of effort into you and your people.
"I don't know that makes anyone a 'freak.' You are awfully scary compared to most people, and someone might use the word because they're afraid of you.
"A lot of people have chips and that becomes kind of normal. Almost no one has seen someone like you, so that makes you more different than they expect."
Jannisett looked baffled. "I am 'scary'? And it is apparent just by looking at me? We were taught to be - ruthless - to our opponents; my M- Killian wanted other Maliks to think twice before attacking him. An asim -- a personal guard -- is supposed to be such a deterrent. Scary. But I have seen very little use of asim away from Home and assume it is the guns you all carry and the training such as Ranger Sam gives that keeps you all safe. Because you all are competent warriors, you do not need asim -- people trained only to be soldiers, guards, personal servants. I would think, then, that my training would not make me so unusual save in my ignorance of other skills. And I have not tried to be intimidating where there has been no Owner to order me to be so. I do know that I don't get hurt as easily as most of you and that I am a little stronger than most that I have met out here. Is that scary?" She looked directly at him. "Eddie, how do I look different, look scary when I do not intend to be so?"
Eddie looked away. "Uh well you're not scary just to look at, but uh, after seeing what you can do it could make people uncomfortable. It's hard to see you fight and then not think about what would happen if you got mad... I've seen body guards before, and some of them always tried to be scary, but they'd look like kids to me after seeing you in action."
Jannisett's eyes opened wide in surprise. "But, but you people use guns. I have to be up close in order to deal damage. Is that the difference? Like the zot boxes, guns keep violence spatially controlled. It's -- scarier when it's right next to you?" She nodded, "I see. I don't see how I can help it, if I am called into combat."
She smiled a little ruefully, "We're not supposed to get angry, if that helps any. Our training teaches how to channel our emotions. We're not supposed to be emotional. Emotional displays usually resulted in the zot box being used." Jannisett looked at the man. "Are you scared of me, Eddie? You and the others? Should -- should I ask Art to make a -- control -- for my zot box -- so that you -- and the others -- could, could, stop me if, if you got scared?"
"NO!" Eddie was clearly angry. "That thing is evil and I won't have anything to do with one! If I could I'd destroy all of them and the people who use them to control others. They'd better hope they aren't all on a ship where I'm the engineer."
Jannisett took an involuntary step backwards, surprised at the engineer's vehemence.
He calmed a little, "Once you use a device like that you turn people into slaves, and that can't ever be right. Training someone to be a good bodyguard is one thing but making them submit to any whim you happen to have is awful.
"Guns aren't that bad, er usually. You can wear armor, take cover, run away, whatever... People who use guns learn to be kind of polite, because you don't know if the other guy is better than you, but a gun is a defense too, since they don't know either. Also, if someone starts shooting people right and left, some group will usually get together and take care of him. People like that are too risky to have around.
"Making someone risk their life for you so you can be fat dumb and happy is not good. Like I said before, being a person instead of a thing is all about who gets to choose."
Jannisett said in wonder, "You care. You are like Grey too. You want the Owners taken down. And you've never watched one make you hurt someone you cared about. How strange -- wonderful." A shadow passed over her countenance. "Please, Eddie, don't get yourself hurt -- killed -- because of that. I -- I don't want that -- again."
She smiled slightly. "Perhaps, on Home, asim are like guns. It's not the same here. But, on Home, one can tell by looking if a person is, most likely, an asim, a muhandis, a tabib, a fellah, a -- whatever her clan's specialty. But you cannot tell if the asim is 'askari, wakil, or wasi. That is, her level of training -- is she soldier, agent, or guardian? You can tell only when you meet her in combat."
Eddie looked at the tool in his hand and then walked away towards one of the big, noisy machines.
[GM: All this angst and poor Janni isn't anywhere near as good as either Eddy, and now Janni, thinks. Oddly it is somewhat bad luck you/I was so awesomely lucky in the first combat. You will probably *never* live up to that fight.]
[S: Sheryl will never be as good as Michael with combat rules/dice.]
[W: She's still quicker than Eddy when he's using a gun, and I insist that's still scary!]
"Things" copyright 2004 S.Knowles and W.Clark. The contents of this site are copyright 2004 Sheryl A. Knowles unless otherwise specified. All rights reserved.