Paris & Rhori.
The boat trip to Lion took several days. On the first day, Paris sought out Rhori, finding him, as she expected, down with the horses, checking on how they were tolerating the river-borne part of the trip.
"Rhori," Paris said, patting the nearest horse, but looking at the young ranger, "I want to apologize to you. You were right about the Head Librarian at Pelier. I now believe he is a person who can be trusted with Prince William's business. I am sorry that I ever let the arguments of some of our comrades make me think otherwise, even for a little bit. Please forgive me."
She paused, looking over the horses, then returned her attention to Rhori. "I am not sure that that was the only problem we had in the library. I know that I made you upset. But I am not completely sure why. It wasn't just the librarian, was it? I feel really badly to have ever had a disagreement with you over what is Right. Can you make me understand all about the things that upset you in the library? I want to understand so that I do not upset you that way again. Please?
He looked confused for a minute, and then really seemed to think, then he said, "Umm, I don't think you did anything wrong. I think I did, but I suppose I will eventually get in trouble for that. And for touching the princess. And for pretending to be a real fighter and wearing the Prince's green. And pro'lly for doing all kinds of things and maybe even for thinking about other things too. I am trying to be a good man and I am trying to do good things but it is very hard for someone as stupid as me to know what is right. I'm sorry for fighting with you at the book room, Parris, I should know that you know better than me. Sorry."
Paris: "Rhori, I think you are a good man. And I always would like to know when you think that we might be doing something wrong. Then you and I can talk it over. If I can explain to you what I think, then, perhaps, you will understand."
[Michael: Of note is that while Paris might feel responsible for the 'incident', Rhori seems to have dismissed her direct part of it when he said "you do what you think is best" and while he seems angry/distrustful of the group in general (and changed the watches so he isn't with Claire, by the way), he definitely bears no animosity to Paris; that much is obvious.]
Paris continued. "As for the other things you think you've done wrong... let's talk about them. I don't think it was wrong to take the things from the room in the library. When I talked to the Librarian the last time, he made it very clear that Prince William had ordered that such things be kept safe and secure -- in a place where ordinary people would not find and hurt them. The Crown Prince had ordered that no books leave the library. Those were the two rules we were to obey: Take nothing from the library. Leave special books and things in a place secret from most people." She paused to see if he understood those rules.
Rhori: "I thought he said don't take anything from the room, but I guess I was wrong, but that's good. And thank you for promising to make sure the prince with the crown gets told everything just like Prince William. I think that Prince William might get in BIG trouble if one of his men, like me, was to do stuff in secret and the other prince found out about it. I feel much better knowing that won't happen."
Paris reassured the ranger. "You could have been right about taking nothing from the room. That is why I asked the Librarian exactly what the rules were. So that I would know if we had done wrong. But I knew Prince William wanted us to look at the books and we couldn't do that in the room filled with green gas, so it had to be ok to take them out and look at them on the stairwell where the gas could not hurt us."
"As for trouble between the princes...." Paris shrugged. "That is a matter that I know nothing about. I hope they are the best of friends. That makes for happy families. But you are right; I do not want to do anything that will cause Prince William trouble."
Rhori: "The princes are brothers? Oh, that's good. The librarian made it sound like they were not friends..."
Paris: "They are brothers, Rhori," Paris reassured him. "The Princess is their sister. I hope that they are as good friends with each other as Calais and I are."
"We took nothing from the library, Rhori. And the green gas and secret doorways meant that anything left in either of the rooms -- or even on the stairway -- would probably have been considered secure. The first room with the old unreadable books was where the Librarian had left those books. So he must have thought that room was secret enough. The room we found would be even more secret. You will not get in trouble for those things, Rhori."
"Touching the Princess. Not being a real fighter. Wearing the Prince's green. Can I try to explain each of those things for you?"
"We did not know the rule about not touching the Princess when we tried to save her. Baron Ruby knew that, I think. And he knew that we had done everything we could to try to help the Princess. So he did not want us to get in trouble for touching her. That is why he gave us permission -- in the Prince's name -- to touch her.
Rhori: "The captain only gave Mia permission to touch the princess."
Paris tried to be logical. "Yes, that is what it sounded like. But your captain knew that Mia alone could not have taken the Princess from the creature and moved her away from the burning building. He knew that some of the rest of us had to have helped because we are stronger than Mia. Baron Ruby is a smart man." Paris continued. "Then... when the Prince called us all to his ceremony.... You remember that?
Rhori: "Kinda"
Paris: "He gave us all cards and praised the work you and the others had done to save the Princess and the Duke and .. for other things. He rewarded you. By doing that, he was saying that Baron Ruby was right to give us permission to touch the Princess in trying to save her. Please do not let that worry you. Princes do not always use plain words, but that was what he meant, I am sure."
"I am not sure what you mean by 'pretending to be a real fighter.' You are a real fighter, Rhori. Just as I am. The badge you wear says you must be a fighter and defend the things that badge stands for. Prince William told the people of the palace that that was true for me. So I know it is true for you. Not everyone knows what our badges mean. So if someone like that tells you you are not a real fighter, you must be patient with him. He just doesn't know that he is wrong. You are a real fighter, Rhori. And Prince William and Baron Ruby need you very much!"
Rhori: "Well, I don't think that my badge gives me permission to carry weapons in cities and other people places. I didn't know before that, as I peasant, I am not supposed to carry a weapon in places like that. But now I do know that and I am not sure if I am doing the right thing...and even if I am I can still get in trouble for it."
Paris: "Rhori, there are enough people who don't know what my badge means that I could get in trouble for wearing my weapon -- if one of those people is a noble and is not willing to listen to me tell them of Prince William's orders. But I must wear my weapon. That was an order. So -- when we are so far away from Prince William or Duke Evan or Baron Ruby -- then we should be careful not to upset people who won't give us a chance to explain."
Rhori: "Who is Duke Evan?" [M: no need to answer unless you want *S*]
Paris: "Because we have all been working for Duke Evan or Prince William and Baron Ruby in the earlier tasks we did -- like finding the Magician -- they have let us wear our weapons in Westmore. Some of our comrades forget, I think, that it is a privilege to wear weapons. They are the ones I most want to be aware that some nobles want peasants to act like peasants."
"Now -- you have been wearing the Prince's green. I do not know how or why you came to be wearing that tabard. I would like you to tell me about it sometime. But I do know that you did not put it on without permission. Right? Baron Ruby has seen you wear that tabard, right? Prince William has seen you wear that tabard, right? If it was wrong for you to wear it, then they would have told you."
Rhori: "Baron Ruby gave it to me to wear, but I think he only meant for me to wear it with him, but I don't know. He said it was to make it easier to get along in places where we weren't known. And I know that I have never sworn to or at the prince and I think that is supposed to be part of being what I am pretending to be...or am, or something."
Paris answered, "If you think you should only wear the Prince's tabard when you are with Baron Ruby, then that is when you should wear it. I will not ask you to wear it for me."
Rhori: "Well I wasn't going to wear it anymore 'til I saw the captain again but you asked me to wear it to the castle last week. Now if it is a bad thing I have already done it and if it's not then I am OK?
Paris: "If you did wrong to wear it, it is my fault and I will take the blame. It is not your fault if it was wrong for me to ask you to wear the tabard. I will ask Prince William when we see him next -- and I will take the blame. Do not worry about it."
Rhori added: "Sometimes the others think they know better than everyone what is right and what to do. But really, except for you, we are all just peasants doing stuff that we're not really supposed to be doing aren't we? And I really don't understand about the stupid rainbow church and why we should protect it, especially if we have to lie to do that. Mia is mean and she put bad things in my food and I can't wait till she is behind me and a ogre is coming and I let the ogre by... then well see what's funny and I used to like Claire too, sigh. Maybe I should just go into the forest and do my REAL job."
Paris: "Oh, Rhori, coming on this trip with me is part of your REAL job. Prince William ordered us both to come on this trip. Perhaps, if we can find Strength at Lions, you can go back and I will continue alone. But, for now, this is part of your job. OK?"
Rhori: "But I don't really work for the Prince. And I couldn't if I wanted to, that's NOT my real job, Parris. My real job doesn't have very much to do with people or cities... that is where your real job is. I think that if there is something that involves Lions then it might be part of my job and the Prince seems like a good man so I don't mind helping him or doing what he wants as long as it seems right."
"I see." Paris paused and then continued. "Rhori, our job this trip is to find Fortitude and Justice. We need to find them because they can tell up more about what our Orders should do and how to do it. The Prince told us to find them because the four of us who wear badges -- you, me, Prince William and Baron Ruby -- do not know enough about how to do all the parts of our jobs. We do not know how to make more members of our Orders. We do not know where the Keys are that we are supposed to guard -- or why we are supposed to guard them -- or how they are supposed to be used. There is probably a lot more about our Orders that we don't know -- and I do not even know what questions to ask. But our Orders are very, very important in the war that is coming. So Prince William needs to have answers to some of these questions. In doing this quest, we are not so much working for Prince William as we are working for our Orders."
"I do not know why Mia and Claire have been mean this trip, Rhori. Perhaps they do not really want to be on this job any more than you do. But I think I can explain why we should try to be good to the Rainbow Church. You remember Genelle, don't you, Rhori? She was the daughter of our priest back in Jouet. She never said a mean word to you, Rhori, and neither did our old Padre. I am sure of that. Well, while you were with Lord Ruby looking at the orc city, Genelle found a new job. She is the High Priestess of Torat now. And her temple was for both the White Church we grew up with and for the Rainbow Church. They were together."
"Genelle was the holiest woman I ever knew, Rhori. If she had been a man, I think she would have become a priest in the White Church, like her father. And she cared very much about the Church. So -- if Genelle went to Tarot because she thought the White Church and the Rainbow Church belonged together, then I cannot think that the Rainbow Church is stupid. I trust Genelle. I myself still want to pray in the White Church. But I will protect both churches if necessary."
Rhori: "Well I suppose that the rainbow church might be better than no church if Genelle says so. But what about Anton and Claire and anyone else who has shown open disdain for the church? They are not good people and don't even like the church!
Paris shook her head. "I do not know why some of our comrades have turned away from the Church they have been taught all their lives. It bothers me a lot too, Rhori. I would be happier if they would declare themselves for the Rainbow Church or come back to the White Church. Being wishy-washy about what god they follow seems to me to be asking for trouble." She looked into the big man's face. "But, Rhori, it may be that they are just confused. If we are as good as we can be, perhaps they will see that there is nothing wrong with the White Church. Perhaps they just took a dislike to the ArchPriest and now think that all the White Church is like he was -- proud and unhelpful."
Rhori: "But we have known good people all our lives. Most of the best of them were either real church people or very close to the church... and now they all act like that was a mistake or something. The church is very important, even I know that! And maybe the churches all used to be together before, or somewhere else? or something. The rainbow church, well Mia, seems to be a bit mean, but working for the good of everyone, so I hope that there won't be any problems about that. And I don't mean that I shouldn't do what the Prince wants - he is a very nice man, I just mean that I have other things I have to do, maybe, sometimes. Sigh." A long pause "Well I guess I don't know what is going on or what to do except to try to help as much as I can and the Prince must know a lot more about that than I do."
Paris: "You are right. We have known good church people. I am guessing, Rhori, but I think that Anton and Claire and some of the others may be trying to forget all about the people we knew in Jouet -- the unhappy people as well as the good people. And I think they want to forget because it hurts to be reminded that those good people were killed and eaten by orcs. And because they want to forget -- even the good things -- they do and say things that are confusing. I think you are right: we must try to help as much as we can -- then, perhaps, the hurt and confusion of our comrades will go away and they will not use words to hurt others."
Paris smiled at Rhori. "When all is said and done, Rhori, we are on our way to find Fortitude, and the others have agreed to help us. So things will work out. I hope. And," she gestured around at the boat, "we will have at least 4 days on this boat with nothing to do but watch the scenery and take care of the horses. I am planning to use the time to study some books that Prince William wants me to read. I thought I heard you mention that you would like to study to become quicker. If you would like to do that on this trip, I have some of those silver cards that I haven't used yet. Please take them if they will help your learning." She offered the ranger a handful of cards. "I would ask you only that you think very carefully before you use your new speed against any of our comrades. I don't think any of them are bad people; they just don't always think carefully. I don't always myself. So it is important not to judge harshly in haste."
The ranger answered with some reluctance. "I - I don't know that I'd ever find enough cards to pay you back."
Paris replied. "That shouldn't matter. I think it would be good if someone in the group was a tad faster. It might gives us an edge when we run into trouble."
Rhori: "O.K. But how can I be sure I am not wasting your cards?"
Paris: "Just use one at a time until you think you're done." [Rhori used 3 of Paris' cards.]
On the Roan River Barge; Thoughts in the Night
Paris put away her book, said her prayers, and drew her blanket up over her shoulders. Perhaps the History was dry from Prince William's point of view. Certainly curt descriptions of battles fought and castles taken did not add much flesh to the names of people and places associated therewith. The herald who had told the story of Queen Branwen had at least made her seem alive, as someone who put her people before her own grief. But even that didn't give much clue as to the real person who had lived and died so long ago. Perhaps histories found real people too overwhelming and so they always resorted to dry, bare facts. But at least it kept her mind occupied -- trying to imagine the people behind the facts. Trying to distract herself with imagined colours -- before the colours of the night bore down on her again -- as they had every night since this quest started.
Almost she could hear music. Almost she could feel herself dancing. Almost she could see Ewen's face in the glow of hundreds of candles, highlights glinting golden in his hair. Ewen -- who looked with admiration, but in word and action honoured her request to 'go more slowly.' Why did she not love someone like that? But she did, she realized. In the same way she loved Lorraine and Lord and Lady duGryphon and Genelle. They were unspeakably dear and kind and part of the richness and wonder that made life so delightful. She did love him, but .... But she didn't want to kiss him. Yes, she wanted sometimes to hug him or give him a friendly kiss to express her delight -- but that would be the same thing she'd want with Calais under similar circumstances. At least with Calais it wouldn't be misinterpreted. After all, Love takes time. Doesn't it? And -- well, what about Lord Justin? Why would Ewen want to be sweetheart with a girl his father could not abide? Was it the same rebellious urge that sent Calais far from the chores he knew his father would have wanted him to do? The fling of a boy trying to show he was out from under his father's control? What sort of family did Ewen have? She didn't know. She knew more now about Rodric's family than she knew of Ewen's -- although she was sure she knew Ewen himself better. What sort of ideal did his heart yearn for? Had his parents been like hers? She thought about the few comments she'd heard -- from Ewen and others -- about Lord Justin. Nothing quite made sense. She should get Ewen to tell her about his family. Next time she could dance with him. They had danced a lot that last week. It had been really wonderful. She understood now why Rodric could be so sincere in his thanks for a dance. It was a very special expression of skill and grace -- and -- caring. Everyone looked beautiful dancing -- and one could feel beautiful too. Part of the music, part of the movement. Almost there was music in the rustle of the dark river and the creaking of the barge. Almost she could feel the movement of the dance.
Then Ewen's face would dissolve and Prince William would be looking at her, his eyes dark, his voice carrying a note of pride and -- reassurance? "It is better to make a decision quickly than the right decision too late." That always woke her up a bit. She wasn't so sure of that conclusion. All her quick decisions seemed to be inadequate lately. Not that there had been much room for slow decisions -- though, she thought about it, perhaps it would have been better if she had taken it slower. It wasn't as though most of the decisions that bothered her had been made in the heat of battle. It would seem that He tried to go as slowly as possible on at least some decisions -- like making new Guardians. How was one to know? She was a decision that He had made quickly. She had paid for it with pain and confusion and sheer happiness. How had He paid for it? She was unspeakably grateful to Him. But there was so much left to do too prove Him right in his decision. She listed the lessons in her mind.
As ever, Paris sighed as she reached the end of the list. There was no guide to human nature. Yes, Lorraine was right; everyone had hopes and fears. But how was one to guess what those were? She didn't even know those things about her friends. Anton feared to be ignored -- but what did he hope for? Mia feared to be noticed and feared for her church -- but what did she hope for? Ewen -- hoped for friendship and love and renown -- but what did he really fear? Jules -- feared change and being beaten -- but what did he really hope for? Did he really feel that strongly about Lorraine and a captaincy? If he did, then he'd have to work harder to make Lorraine really love him, poor boy. And if she, Paris, didn't know the 'human-ness' of these, how ever could she know what truly motivated people she didn't know? Lady duGryphon had made her see that she didn't know anything about the Duke. She'd projected her own thoughts -- ideals -- onto him. She did that a lot. Were her ideals that important that she wanted the whole world to share them? Or was it more likely that she was so afraid of not living up to those ideals that she hoped they'd survive in some other embodiment? There was always Prince William. The cards knew he lived up to those ideals. As always in somewise comforted, Paris would fall asleep.
"Rhone River" copyright 1999 M.Kennedy & S.Knowles. The contents of this site are copyright 2004 Sheryl A. Knowles unless otherwise specified. All rights reserved.