Threeday Night.
Various people wanted to talk to Paris when she got back (late) on Threeday, i.e. after our day in court. The question about "Lady Paris" was public. Calais waited until the others drifted off to bed and they were private. He asked, "So why were you so tense when you showed up in court? You were white as a sheet!" He grinned. "People are going to start telling us apart by our complexions!" Getting serious again, he added, "Is there more trouble in court? More... 'monsters'? Or is there something else?"
Paris smiled at Calais' witticism. She was clearly tired, but Calais could detect none of the distress that he knew Paris was feeling that afternoon. With her normal seriousness, she answered. "There's been a lot of 'something else' for me at the palace, Calais. I'm kept in class and so have no way to keep watch over the Prince or search out 'monsters'." Paris paused thoughtfully. "It is possible that the Prince and Lady duGryphon were successful in completely deflecting from me those who wish me deliberate ill, but--" she shrugged, "I have no way of telling. I have seen less of the Prince, the Leader of my Order, than, it would seem, the rest of you have. But most of my unhappiness I seem to have brought on myself."
She shook her head and gave Calais a wry grin. "But that doesn't answer your question, does it?"
Calais just tilted his head and waited expectantly.
She took a deep breath. "I was afraid, when I came into the throne room, that I had been called up for discipline. I -- have caused several -- disturbances -- amongst my classmates, in the time I have been in the palace. I -- thought my Prince had determined that it was time to -- take measures about those." She looked a little shame-faced. "Perhaps I should have known better, but, at the time, there had been no -- resolution to a couple of those matters."
Then she looked seriously at Calais. "After it became clear that the Prince had not called me forth as a source of trouble, I realized that I'd have almost rather have been disciplined than rewarded. Not but which I am very glad that all of you got recognized and rewarded," she added hastily. "I am; I really am glad! You guys have been busy while I was in class. I hope you will tell me about it sometime! No one knows better than I how much our friends have worked for the Duke and Prince. You all deserve that ceremony." She paused.
"But -- I -- already have enough -- problems -- with -- being different. That caused the very first trouble: I was a peasant and a girl. Well, maybe not the very first." Paris looked embarrassed. "Before I'd even arrived at the palace for the first class, some people had decided that -- I stood in a dishonourable relationship to our Prince. That was the first problem. I thought we'd gotten over that. And that all I had were a few -- personal misunderstandings to get over this week."
"But -- then the magic showed up: the Empress' plants and my ability to pray and have someone be healed. Those things -- and the recognition of those things, being called forth for reward -- all -- just makes me more different. Calais," there was appeal in Paris' eyes. "It's really hard to be different -- and happy. There have been times -- in the palace -- that I have been so very lonely. And I am not given the time to come here and regain perspective. You all have been busy too. And -- I think -- most of us feel -- that our new -- skills and powers -- make us different. But, for me -- it's a really lonely feeling. I've -- missed you."
"Tonight, though," Paris' voice was softer than normal, "I think things got a little better. Lady duGryphon had a plan, to help the other students see that, really, by myself, I am nothing special. I think it -- helped. At any rate, I don't think that I will find it unbearable to go back to class tomorrow."
Calais nodded. "But we've always been different in some ways. Neither of us was ever really content with the thought of a lifetime of farmyard chores." He smiled. "Though you were always better at forcing yourself to do them anyway. But I guess that's the point. We really want to find a place we can fit in, and here you seemed to have found a calling and yet you're still having trouble fitting in. It's sorta like me finding out, at first, that I wouldn't be allowed to work with the Duke's artificer, which is where I think I'd fit in. But that may change now."
"Did -- did things work out for you with the Duke? I didn't think it was right to skip class and stay to find out." Then Paris looked apologetic. "I really hope you don't mind, Calais, but I have arranged for the Duke and his artisan to know that -- sometimes you should empty your pockets. I can't be there to help when you train, so I -- thought it was better that they know so that -- nothing unexpected -- could happen in your training. I want them to give you a fair chance. Will they, do you think? I did say that your oath is utterly to be depended on. I know it is!"
Paris smiled softly. "I'm really hoping that you get to train in the palace. I don't know if we can make our schedules match, but there's someone I'd really like you to meet."
Calais: "Well, I was told I'd have to swear allegiance to the Duke and his family, to keep their secrets safe, and so forth. I don't think that'll be any problem for me, though I suppose I might have to be careful what I say to some of our gabbier comrades! And I've got an appointment to see the artificer tomorrow, and if he accepts me then I get to train under him!" Calais's exuberance dies down a bit as he thinks about what else Paris said. "Do you think it'll be a problem that I, um, tend to pick stuff up? I don't mean to cause trouble by it, you know that! And sometimes it works out for the best, too, like with the cup."
Paris answered. "I knew it would be a problem if the Duke and artificer didn't know. If you are accepted for training and they know, it'll be all right, I think. You'll just have to do your very best at what you're taught -- and -- and they'll work something out. Like we did in Jouet. People would come to me -- and, well, you know that you and I always managed to work it out. People didn't stay mad long. Sometimes, though, now, I expect it'll have to be just you who does the returning of things -- and the apologies -- and maybe a bit of make-up work. But I'll help if you need me."
Calais: "Thanks, Sis. Anyway, if he does accept me for training, I don't know what my schedule will be. I guess I'll want to finish my week of training with armor, but that's only taking up half my time. I guess we'll see. So who's this 'someone'? Or do I have to wait to see?"
Paris actually laughed a little. "He's no secret. His name is Ewen. He -- likes me, a little too much maybe -- but I think you'll like him. He's one of the best in my class."
Calais might get the sense that Paris has a feeling of confusion now, but is doing her usual darn good job of trying to keep that boxed up and in.
Calais eyed Paris closely. "Hm, and do you like him, 'a little too much maybe'?"
Paris' expression turned rueful. Her answer was very quiet. "No. No, not yet. That may be one of my problems." Paris started to colour up. "He's a good friend but - but -- I don't know what I really want -- that way. I - I'm still trying to learn -- how to serve my Order and the Prince -- how to do my job. And -- I'm just not ready to - to -- start 'keeping company.' I never had time, before, you know. Too much of this is still so new!"
Calais can feel Paris' confusion, almost as an ache.
Calais gave Paris a comforting, brotherly hug. "Just take it slow, Sis. Give yourself time to figure out what's right. You always do, given time."
"I know what you mean about never having had time for that sort of stuff, though. I guess I flirted with the girls more than you did -- uh, more than you did with guys, I mean! -- but there was never time to consider anything serious. But now..." Calais's eyes took on a bit of a dreamy look. "Your friend Lorraine, I dunno, she's so nice to everybody, but sometimes I feel she's extra-interested in me. Do you think she might be, or am I just wishful thinking?"
[D: Pat goes, Aha! Hooked at last? Quick, Paris, dispel my notions!]
[GM: My harpoon! Where's my harpoon when I need it? :)]
Paris hugged him back. "I just get so mixed up. And I don't know if it's just me, or the situation, or hoping for things that just aren't realistic. I -- don't want to -- accept kisses -- just because I am lonely or -- because that seems to be what other girls do. I know I want -- what Maman and Papa had. But -- not everyone is that lucky. Maybe not most people. And - and - the Order will come first, for all of my life. It will take someone pretty special to accept that and - and still be whatever it is that I want. But maybe I just don't understand how boys think about such things." She pulled back and looked at him. "I certainly don't always understand how girls -- like Lorraine -- think about such things. I -- do know she thinks you -- are nice. But," Paris seemed to be trying to say something without saying it. "I think that you would have to really give her a chance to get to know you, a chance to see that you really aren't me, that there's a lot of difference between us and that you are pretty special and unique. When you get your growth and start filling out, we won't look much alike. But -- well, I'm hoping people will just get to know you as well as me."
Fourday Night
As Paris trudged towards Their House on one side of Jouet Square, she could see that a candle burned in the common room. Someone was waiting up for her again. Her stomach growled as her step picked up. She smiled wryly at herself. It seemed likely that the palace girls didn't usually engaged in a day of heavy physical training before opting to skip a meal. Ah well. But it had been a good day. If only she could managed to.... Paris' thoughts trailed off into momentary wistfulness.
"Calais!" Paris kept her voice low so not to disturb the household, but her pleasure was evident. "You waited up!" Carefully she scanned his face. Was he waiting because of good news -- or bad?
Calais presented Paris with a bit of bread and wine scrounged up from who knows where. [Aside to Pat: No, I did NOT take it from there! But I figure I can find something.] "Here. I had a feeling you were hungry."
As Paris settled down to enjoy the late repast, Calais sat down beside her, obviously excited with his news. "He accepted me! And oh, he's got all sorts of interesting things to work with. It'll be hard work, I know, but it's going to be so much fun, too!"
Paris swallowed her bite and smiled. "Well, go on. Tell me what you'll be studying and what your schedule will be. And -- I'm also interested in where you'll be working and who you'll see -- but I suspect that you don't know much about that tonight."
"Well, I spent some time today learning more about locks -- that was a lot of what he used to test me, too -- and traps. And for some of it I had to figure out how to make my own tools, and I learned a bit about how to do that, too. And about fixing stuff when it breaks. I'll be spending half the day there from now on, well, at least for a while. I hope we can stay in town long enough for me to improve a bit from the training. Seems like that means a week, right? Anyway, I still have to spend the rest of the day at my fighting practice, but that's pretty flexible, so I'll be at the palace mostly in the morning, since that's when the light's best, 'cuz Master Irolo's workshop is on the east side of the castle.
"And I don't know if I'll be working with anyone except just him. He didn't seem to have any other apprentices. Though I did meet some of his family over lunch. His daughter and granddaughter help with the meals and stuff. And I met his son Ivan, who's a blacksmith, and Ivan's apprentice was there for lunch too. Katya's father -- Katya's the granddaughter -- wasn't there; I think he's a guard on the palace walls.
"So I guess I'll be free after lunch, and though I have to head back for fighter training I could stop by and say hi and meet your friends and stuff, if that's a good time to be doing that?"
Paris looked just a shade disappointed but she smiled. "I didn't really think our schedules would mesh. My 'book classes' start during lunch. The only real 'saying hi' time would be when I first get there in the morning or right after the afternoon riding lessons -- before I go and get washed up for the evening." She shrugged lightly. "I didn't expect to see you unless there was some reason for the artisan to work in the training area. It was just a thought. "Then she paused with a more serious look. "And -- if you don't mind -- was there any mention of -- your picking up things?"
Calais's face took on an odd expression, a mixture of amusement and chagrin. "Well, sort of. After I left, I realized that I was, um, missing my purse. So I went back and there it was, sitting out in the middle of a table, real obvious. And Irolo said he understood that people forget things sometimes, and that for instance he'd forgotten where he left one of the keys I'd been studying, and, um, I found it in my sleeve. And he said he'd gotten a couple letters telling him that I, um, forget things like that, so he came up with an idea to help me remember. When I show up, I have to open one of my practice boxes and put my own stuff inside, and when I leave I open it again and take my stuff out, and then I check myself over and put in the box anything I've, uh, picked up that day. And he had me promise I'd do that, and I thought it over and decided that having the box there, with my stuff in it, as a reminder, I'd be able to remember to check for stuff before leaving."
Calais looked gratefully at Paris. "I guess those notes you sent must've mentioned how strongly I feel about keeping my word, because he seemed to understand that my promise was good." Calais grinned, remembering something. "Actually, I almost made a big mistake there. What he asked me to promise at first was that I would leave behind anything that wasn't mine. But I realized that I often carry stuff that's not mine, so I promised instead that I'd leave behind anything that's supposed to stay there. And he was satisfied with that." Calais looked serious again. "You know, I'm sure I didn't really just leave my purse behind. Master Irolo must've picked it off me to get me to come back so we could work that out. He's really good! But still, it bothered me that anyone, even a someone like him who meant no harm by it, was able to get that purse from me, especially since a lot of what's in it, like I said, isn't really mine.
"In fact, though I trust him for my own part, I suppose I owe it to our friends to double-check that everything is still here. Maybe you can help me sort through all this?" Checking that they were reasonably secluded from the sleepers in the room and were not being observed, Calais proceeded to dump out a few coins, and an amazing number of the silver cards. [I'm assuming Rhori's purse isn't in this bundle.]
"Let's see. Claire and Mia have been studying some magic at last, but haven't come to me for cards yet. [Not sure really about Mia, but will assume she doesn't come to me until the end of this week.] And Brillig and Rhori haven't asked for any either. So how many is that? Hm, three apiece from our first few fights against orcs, then two more from the Duke when we got back." Calais counted five cards into a pile. "One more from the spiders." Another card into the pile. "And now five more." Calais dealt these, then counted the pile. "Eleven. So, those are Claire's, and these," he dealt out another eleven, "are Mia's." Two more piles: "And these are Brillig's and Rhori's. Oh, except Rhori wasn't there for the spiders." He returned one card to the now considerably smaller pile he'd started with. "Anton's used all of his except the one's we got this week." Five cards into a new pile. "And you've held onto all of yours since we first came back and you tried to give them to the Duke, so the rest must be mine. Let's see." Setting aside the remaining eight cards, Calais took one of the piles of eleven and started counting out cards as he recalled where he'd used them. "I used three cards plus some training to improve my, um, locksmith skill. Then I used the High Priestess's fountain for those... Hm, and one card to get a little stronger so my armor wouldn't tire me out so fast."
Calais compared the stack to the cards that had been left over. "Hm, so I should have only seven cards left for myself. Why do I have eight? Maybe Irolo stuck in an extra card? Seems unlikely, somehow. Maybe Rhori really ought to have eleven like the others? No, he really wasn't there for the spiders." Calais thought a bit. "Oh, but you were. And I just collected all the spider cards, like usual, and you never asked me for yours. So this," he set aside one card, "is for you. Do you want to take it now?"
Paris laughed quietly. "You know, it never occurred to me that you might have something for me. I keep thinking that everyone else could use cards as quickly as I can -- if I had them. You have no idea how much they seem to expect me to learn. And people like Lorraine -- and most of the others, I think -- have been taking the classes since she was 14. I'm taking the classes always before only attended by the boys: combat, group and individual, and tactics in the morning; all sorts of things starting at lunch -- heraldry, history, law, estate management, logistics, geography, even farming! Then, in the late afternoon, it's riding and various combat skills related to that. In the evening -- and before -- Lorraine helps me lots -- it's learning to behave like a lady. Eating, talking, dancing. All the do's and don'ts of polite behaviour. Lorraine is also trying to help me with some of the things the girls learn that I don't get in my regular classes: how to dress and move and look nice -- and a lot of the 'traditions' that seem to interlace the lives of people living in the castle. Or maybe the nobles living in the castle. I am not sure."
She sighed and laughed a little all together. "There is so much I am not sure of. So much that they all know and I am trying to play catch-up -- and making mistakes all the time. There are things -- like the traditions, like trying to understand why people think the way they do -- that I seem to be expected to know." She shrugged with an almost helpless gesture. "And I don't even know how to learn those things. Who to ask. Or even that there are things like that to ask about. And so, usually, I upset someone or hurt someone or get myself upset."
She smiled at Calais. "But now, at least, I feel a lot better about you getting the training you wanted." The smile turned into a grin. "Shall I stop worrying about you now? Not that it ever does me any good."
"Twins Talk" copyright 1999 D.Woods & S.Knowles. The contents of this site are copyright 2004 Sheryl A. Knowles unless otherwise specified. All rights reserved.