On the Trail to Dungeon; Rhori & Paris.
Red had Paris come with him on scout duty (as she occasionally did) and asked her, "What was that with Anton and the library about, Parris? I think that you don't trust him enough to 'vouch' for him. And that's no surprise to me or anyone else, I think. I can see why you didn't just say so, that'd be not nice ... umm that'd not be nice, I mean. But you shouldn't just try to think of a nice way to say no. Just say no. Anton and the other mages don't tell us why they don't do what we want them to do - usually - and there is no reason for you to tell them why you do things either. If they ask, you can tell them if you want to." Rhori paused, growled to Hobbes and tried to point out something to Paris and explain its usefulness in scouting (probably unsuccessfully). Then he continued.
"Captain Silverlocke is really good at not answering questions and really good at not telling people why they are doing stuff - unless they really do need to know - and he is the best leader I have seen. Have you noticed that when I want people to do something I just say it loud and clear till I get people moving? I know I'm bigger and louder than you are but you should try it. Our companions NEVER do anything I ask them to do, but if I yell it they usually do it... It's funny." He said with a smile. "And now I can have Hobbes to go behind someone I want to move and growl at them and nudge them; he is going to be a big help to us in saving Torat."
Rhori was obviously thinking hard for a moment before he continued, "But the further we go and the more we do, it seems that even a pain in the butt like Anton can be very useful. The door to courage woulda been very hard to get to without him and he did what I needed quickly and without whining. I suppose maybe we all need each other sometimes and maybe that is why we are all together. Just because Anton and Claire don't care about church doesn't mean we should give up on them. Mia dislikes our church more than they do but we 'cut her more slack' (well the medieval equivalent of this idiom *S*) than the others. It is hard to understand all the changes going on..." He laughed, "well unless you are Anton. Then it's easy 'cause you already know everything." He finished with a smile directed at Paris. "You are doing a hard job and doing it good! I know you like to be by yourself almost as much as I do and that's hard, especially with Calais and the rest of us always around. And becoming a noble, or whatever you are, is pro'lly very hard. But don't be so sad all the time. We are beating lots and lots of evil, maybe more than ANYONE else has... Do you ever think of that? Every time I am feeling stupid I think about all the important things I, well, we have done and I feel a lot better. And you have done a lot more than I have!"
Paris listened quietly and attentively to Rhori's reprimand.
Paris shook her head 'no'. "I do not think I have done more than you have, Rhori. I have done almost nothing in all our quests -- save perhaps being a stumbling block. It has been you and our comrades who have done most everything. Do not give their credit to me."
Rhori: "Umm, I know that we would never have made it anywhere together without you, Parris. I don't know why you are so sad... Is it because the evil-doggies attacked you first and you weren't able to kill any of them since they set you on fire? It seems like you get hit a lot, I suppose that is one of the reasons I think you are so brave. It's hard to walk in front all the time when you know something bad is going to happen, I bet. You certainly do not see anyone else wanting to do it." The look in Paris' eyes was enough to make Rhori re-assess the situation and continue, "Well, besides me, but I'm a WHOLE lot bigger than you are. I do it because it is easy for me to do. You do it because it is the right thing to do."
Paris: "I knowdo trust him in many, many ways. The places I don't trust him seem rather minor, all in all. He isn't always fair in his storytelling. His -- well, disrespect? -- it's almost arrogance sometimes -- could get us all killed in some places -- but we've not found ourselves in any such place yet. And how he seems to think about the churches -- the matter that you and I have spoken about before -- has me feeling very uncomfortable in certain situations."
Rhori: "If you don't want to 'use' people then you should stop being what you are. And it will get worse if you become a lady-knight, I am sure. It is like we are fighting evil - sometimes all on our own - and if you can't use whatever you have to win, then there will be trouble. I think maybe I don't understand, 'cause I don't really know what you mean 'cause if you meant what I think you meant then I'd be confused. Hmmm. There is a difference between using a person or horse or sword, to do what it can do best to help the world and doing that in a bad way, I think it is call abrusing or something and it means to use someone in a bad way. That's not what any of us are trying to do...well any of us good people." Rhori gave a gusty sigh. "Anton and his meanness is something that I have grown used to. I still don't like it when he is mean to other people, especially you, but it doesn't bother me as much as it used to."
Paris: "The library at Lions was one of those situations because the Librarian and the Padre there are such good friends. I wanted to let Anton come because he had been so disappointed in not seeing the library at Pelier. But I didn't want to chance hurting those two old men as they would have been if Anton started acting like he knew everything and respected no one -- and," her voice dropped very low, "as though the Church sacrificed babies or something." She looked at Rhori with a faint smile. "We know Anton. He doesn't mean harm. He just sometimes likes to irritate people. But someone very wise said to me not so long ago: 'the frailties we learn to live with become very large when presented to someone else'. I did not know how to present my perception of Anton's frailties to himself. I am sorry. I made things worse. You are right that I should have just said 'no'..."
Rhori: "Well if you're sorry, you can apologise to Anton; if you're not and you feel like it, you can explain to him what you just explained to me. Or we can all just forget about it. Anton doesn't have enough brains to remember all the times he has been 'slighted' and eventually (like 2 weeks from now) it will be forgotten by everyone but you, Parris."
Paris: "But I do not see how trust will grow amongst us, Rhori, if we don't tell each other why we are doing things. Why does the loudness of my voice make any difference to the rightness of my orders or the validity of my opinions? I think we would work together much more smoothly if we each knew what the other was likely to do. Knowing why he or she does things makes such understanding easier. When we don't explain what we are doing to each other, it seems to increase the lack of trust. Not knowing when or if someone will 'get back at' someone else for an unexplained action or perceived slight makes for poor discipline and little teamwork in a troop."
Rhori: "I promise not to do the bad thing I was going to do. I'm sorry, I don't think I was really gonna do it, it was just a bad Anton-like thought...Sorry"
"Oh, Rhori!" Paris' voice was intensely apologetic. "I wasn't talking about you. I trust you to always do the right thing. Really I do. I do not believe that you would purposely let one of us get hurt. But ... we may have that situation now. Anton may intend to 'get me back' for not trusting him. The trouble is, when that sort of thinking starts, usually more than the intended target gets hurt. And nothing I've tried -- keeping secrets, trying to explain, or inviting group discussion -- has worked. There are times that I feel my Card made a mistake in letting me take it. But," she smiled at Rhori obviously appreciative of the big ranger's attempt to help her out, "I will try harder."
Rhori: "Maybe you try too hard, Parris. I know that sometimes the harder I try the worse I do..."
Paris closed her eyes. She was now crying and trying very hard to get it under control. "Th-thank you, Rhori. Thank you very much for trying to show me where I have gone off course." She swallowed, "And, Rhori? I don't think that Mia dislikes our Church at all. She's afraid of the unknown, but I am sure that she does not dislike our Church the way Anton seems to. And she is not pretending. She is a faithful member of her church. It's the unfaithfulness that bothers me so in the others. If Anton simply became a member of the Rainbow Church, I would not feel nearly as uncomfortable with him as I do now. Having no piety seems to me to be an opening for the evils of the Black Church -- and that scares me. I pray every day for guidance, but very little is clear to me."
Rhori: "Well I'm not sure the rainbow church is a good thing, or anything like the real church, but I'm pretty sure they aren't bad. We will find out I suppose, if we keep alive and keep helping to do what we think is right. And for what it's worth, I know I would not be here helping do all these good things if you weren't here, Parris. I'd be somewhere else pro'lly doing things much less important and so I owe you my thanks at the least. I like to do good important things." He said with a shy smile and, as he started turning red (yet another reason for the nickname?), he sent Paris back to the main group and headed off ahead on his own.
"Trail to Dungeon" copyright 1999 M.Kennedy & S.Knowles. The contents of this site are copyright 2004 Sheryl A. Knowles unless otherwise specified. All rights reserved.