Aboard ship.
Dear Dad & Mom,
It seems I've made a mess of trying to explain myself again. You are obviously still unhappy with me and it makes me unhappy to have made you so. Perhaps I can do better in writing; I hope I can't do worse.
You've asked: What was I doing on Mars and what does it have to do with what I want to do with my life? For the latter - it's not yet clear to me, certainly not clear enough to put into a business plan. But I do know that I want to do more than provide translation services for a few business and social meetings. What acceptable interests do I have? I am very interested in humanity's expansion through the solar system - Le Grand Voyage - and particularly in the mistakes made therein. This, in part, explains my interest in Mars' Lost Cities and, as well, the fact that I did find many parts of the Martian Mining Complex tour fascinating.
I apologize, Daddy, if my taking that tour complicated things of which I was and am still unaware. I took the Director's interest in me only as a compliment to you. It did not seem likely to me that anyone could seriously consider me a representative of Chevron, or whatever you have found he thought. I am proud of you, Daddy, but, as you know, I am not in any corporate employ. And I certainly have not been trained to be an official spokesperson for anything; I am not sure why anyone would think otherwise. I apologize for letting the Director make the mistake he seems to have made.
At any rate, I still would like to follow through on getting a closer understanding of the problems of expansion, colonization, terra-forming, etc.. If you have some idea as to how this would work into your plans for me, I will willingly listen and see what can be worked out to your satisfaction.
As to the matter of John Larson, the bodyguard assigned to me on Mars, I'd like to again assure you that there were no "hidden meanings" in my messages thanking you for the assignment. I know I have never thanked you for that before, so I will try to explain a little more fully than I seem to have.
I think you would have approved of all Mr. Larson's efforts to see that I came to no harm - at which he was, obviously, successful, as have been others before him, of course. The big difference between Mr. Larson and the others may well have been merely circumstantial: the timing was right or I'm a bit more grown-up or my desire to explore had a more logical basis than my previous activities. Of course, you are not responsible for "circumstantial events" and so, perhaps, I should not have expressed thanks and thus worried you. However, those events did, for once, allow me to see a bodyguard as an employee with a job to do rather than as an obstacle. At any rate - as I tried to show in the anecdotes I told you - Mr. Larson's use of my dossier showed right away that he was intelligent; and his handling of several awkward situations (like the Russian on the train) allowed me to see a measure of heroism in the fellow. These things happened with sufficiently good timing that I stopped seeing the "typical body guard", that is, an obstacle to outwit or avoid, before I had time to "escape." To sum up: circumstances proved he was smart; he was noble; he didn't deserve the trouble he'd be in if I "ran away" as I have, I know, before. (And, Daddy, please forgive my frankness, but I know you well enough to believe you've given many of my bodyguards grief in the past, simply due to my bad behaviour. Again, forgive me; I mean no disrespect.) It's about the first time I've bothered to think that way - that is, to consider someone else's trouble - so I thought to thank you for the lesson. I did not mean the thanks to seem disrespectful. I meant "thank you," pure and simple.
And that's about all there is for me to tell you about my Mars trip. I hope it helps ease your worry about me - and I do hope you don't blame Mr. Larson just because I've tried to "be good" for once.
I realize that in running away this last time, I've probably negated whatever understanding I'm trying to achieve with presenting these explanations. But I could see no way to "find my future" while under "house arrest" in my own home. I am sorry for the pain I did and am causing you in following this course of action. I do not love you less; it's that I need to learn more about the things that interest me.
I've a bit more thinking to do before anything more gets down on paper, so I will end here for now.
Respectfully and with much love,
Your daughter, Chantal
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